Dalam ingatan selamanya..
Dia..
I love u so much..always u :'(

Broken mirror

Pahit macam hempedu
Tak tau nak kata apa.

Hati terluka seketika mungkin,
Mungkin tidak.

(I wish i could cast you away)

:)

Praise to Allah~Thank you.

#Boleh pergi bercuti.Jalan-jalan cari makan :)

Home!

Makan dan terus makan yeay! :D
Rasanya tak lama lg boleh muflis sebab byk sgt attraction..huhu

-

Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku bertawakal kepada-Mu. Syukur Alhamdulillah untuk semua yang berlaku sepanjang exam ini. Aku tahu ada hikmah disebalik sakit yang diberikan oleh-Mu. Aku redha jika itu lebih baik untuk diriku. Tiada penyesalan untuk itu. Kerana aku sentiasa percaya akan balasan dari-Mu. Hari ini aku mohon pada-Mu semoga exam yang lalu memberikan khabar yang baik untuk semua. Tiada apa yang perlu dikesali kerana semuanya datang dan pergi atas kehendak-Mu. Segala yang berlaku pada hari ini atas izin Mu..Ya Allah. Permudahkan urusanku Ya Allah. Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin :')

I like this.

“If you win, you don't need to explain. If you lose, you should not be there to explain" ~ Adolf Hitler

Be wisely think

I don't get it when people tells you stories about themselves to someone. Do they ever think back what if the stories leak out because of their own fault?? That time shouldn't blame them for any reason..cause everything happens for a reason..so think wisely before you did something. They trust you, but if you did something to hurt them back...did you just realized what will happen next? You're making your life miserable. Promise is a promise..everyone had their own limits. In such a way of life, this is not a solution..but please don't make it happen.

Blindness

Just keep everything CLEAN! is that so hard to do?
And people dont simply think when others keep in silence..doesn't mean they did something wrong.
You just don't know..everything happens for a reason..
And please don't act like you didn't do anything wrong cause you always did d same thing again and again..
Do i have to tell this 100x??


JUST KEEP EVERYTHING CLEAN.

Sesungguhnya kebersihan itu separuh dari iman.


#SAD Mr.Spoon

spinal anesthetic

Mari bercakap tentang anesthetic. Hurm, ok..anesthetic ada 2:
I ) General anesthetic : ni kalau kena mmg tak sedar time operate (tido) + tak rasa skt langsung
II) Local anesthetic : ni  pulak boleh tgk (xtido tp doctor tak bagi so dia tutup ngn kain) + tak rasa skt

 Ni lah beza dia.

Local ni ada byk jenis : surface, infiltration, regional, epidural, nerve block, dan plg sakit SPINAL!!

*****************************************************************

SPINAL ANESTHETIC: ikut kata buku Shanbhag PLG POPULAR

*Tempat: L2-L3 @ L3-L4 spinal cord
*Nama ubat : Lignocaine (rasa dia bg ni aritu), Tetracaine, Bupivacaine (ni bahaya-cardiotoxic tak mungkin)
*Application/ Kegunaan: Surgery lower limb, lower abdomen, caesarean section, and PERINEUM! haish

*Biasa dia campur dengan adrenaline : sbb nak bagi lama sikit, kurang bdarah, kurang toxic kat system

*Kebaikan : Sedar, relax, tak sakit (mmg btulla)

*Keburukan : sakit kepala (ni mmg chronic serious), bp rendah, urinary retention, resp. paralysis, septic meningitis (mintak jauh)

Amaran: Jangan bagi dekat budak, vertebral xnormal, bp rendah, dan shock.

Instinct

trustworthy?

descending...?

may be yes may be not..

just wait and see next..

something's not right, so i need to fix it..

it really made me start thinking what to do..

or shall i just keep it away?

unbelievable and unexpected..

thanks or but no thanks??

for a moment, i believe..maybe.

-

Almost there!
Common...counting days...
14 days left....yes!

:)

Untuk pertama kali seumur hidup..

Plus spinal anesthetic yang sememangnya sakit, seriously sakit.

 

-

Tak mampu untuk berkata, yang pasti berharap ianya berakhir.

I'll be fine.
Time will come,
and i'll let it go.

Opinion

Dalam hidup ni, terdapat berbagai-bagai ragam manusia. Jadi semestinya ramai orang akan mempunyai pendapat yang berbeza, kadangkala mereka ni semua berfikir yang pendapat masing-masing betul. Sebab dalam hidup ni sentiasa banyak pilihan bukan satu sahaja. Itu namanya "variety."Kalau tak ada, hidup ni semestinya bosan. Tapi apa yang penting disini adalah bagaimana kita menerima pendapat seseorang itu. Bukan lah asyik nak membangkang sahaja. Kalau salah tak mengapa. Perkara yang tak sepatutnya apabila pendapat tu bukan lah salah tapi ianya cuma pilihan. Yelah, dalam hidup ni bukan satu pilihan  sahaja, nak jadi baik pun bukan satu jalan sahaja. Banyak cara..kadang-kadang tak paham dengan orang yang sentiasa fikir pendapat dia sahaja yang betul, itu terpulang lah kepada orang yang mendengar samada untuk menerima atau tidak. Tak salah bagi seseorang itu untuk mengutarakan pendapat mereka. Hidup kena berdemokrasi. Kita mesti sentiasa hormat dengan cadangan ataupun pendapat orang lain..mungkin pendapat yang diberikan berdasarkan pengalaman. Jadi semua itu terpulang kepada diri seseorang individu. Cukuplah sekadar memberi pendapat. Tak perlu sampai nak menunjukkan pilihan yang ada itu salah padahal ianya cuma sekadar pilihan.  Perkara yang paling penting pilihan tu bukan perkara yang tak baik tapi baik. Walaupun pendapat itu salah sekali pun, kita cuma perlu berikan pendapat yang sebaiknya..bukan menolak habis-habisan. Ini adalah pendapat saya. Hidup kena demokrasi. Kalau kita asyik nak bangkang sahaja susahlah. Macam kita hidup bermasyarakat bukan semua orang setuju dengan undang-undang negara. Tapi  disebabkan penerimaan pendapat demi keamanan sejagat, maka, perasaan hormat-menghormati itu penting. Kalau tak, hancur negara sebab masing-masing nak ikut rentak masing-masing. Kalau nak jugak, sila buat negara sendiri dan undang-undang sendiri.

# Peace :)

its getting painful :')

Nukilan hati

Kadangkala ianya tak seindah yang difikirkan.

Tatkala hati hanya mampu diam tanpa berbicara.

Sering berharap perkara yang belum pasti pengakhirannya.

Tapi, itu semua biarlah masa yang menentukan.

Jika itu pengakhirannya..

Yang pasti tiada lagi pengulangan untuk itu.

Dimana sepi itu lebih baik.

#syg ayah.

Unwell

Last time i had fever on 1/2010, and this time it comes again..T___T

Then comes the headache!

Now, i feel sleepy.not good..not good..

I hate taking pills.

Salam Maulidur Rasul (1432H)

Flirting :)

Hye!~ Mr.P..can i flirt you? so that you will always be near by my side..i need you at the moment..its my pleasure to have you accompanying me tomorrow..i love you so much!! please2 :)

It's my turn.

Bila exam mula lah tak reti duduk diam..kejap nak makanla, kejap nak kemas2la (mencari alasan).

-

I've gone crazy undeniably.
Please calm.
I blame the weather,cold makes me shivering.

Teddy

Yesterday, i went to mantri mall..what i found was a small to medium-sized teddy, so adorable to keep with..but when i think back again, i feel weird..why suddenly i like teddy which actually i hated it much during my childhood time. I used to keep it away in the wardrobe, my grandma said if you sleep with them, your soul would be taken..honestly, i believe on that (not this time)..huhu..since that i never dream to had it even once. to those giving me teddy as present, i am very sorry...i don't mean to...cause i do scared to see their eyes..it was like someone is watching you secretly. there was this one time where i had a dream being chased by a group of teddy..their faces look so ugly and awful than reality.. i ran until i found my way home, i woke up and cry. But now, i'm not that afraid anymore..cause i believe in Allah. The only and the most i am afraid of..nothing else. Always have faith  in God.

#Never put yourself far from God :) 

Him

I always believe in you..cause i wanted to not because i have to..sorry for everything i've done to you..this is me, one who always and never got right about any assumption and one who loves to make her own conclusion without evidences. I know this sound bad for some reason..but, i put my effort well on it hoping for changes to come, though it never work well with me..and for that reason, i do really need you which i believe you will be able to change it somehow in your way. I like you so much and always love you :)

#Appreciate you more than ever.

Base

Up side down,

Moves like no end..

Really wanted to run away far from everything as much as i could

But, this is life which i could never control.

I tried to follow as much as it was..

And sometimes, it just made me upset. 

They said that ignorance never untied anything..

You need to realise their existence or otherwise you would regret.

I'm speechless again.

****************************

Unspoken

I'm speechless, twisted, and blank.


#Only time will tell.

You :)

Arrggh...hahaha..

I can't stop smiling and laughing****

See what you've done***** 

You touched my heart****

I love you! :))
So sweet like Hershey's! 

S.M.I.L.E

Say Hi to Sunday!

Alright, let's get back in track again.

Yesterday is yesterday..today is today.

Keep everything aside..

And please focus on the exam!

Say Bye Bye to problemo.

#I love my dad! xoxo

Uninvited

Hey Mr. mushroom, why at this moment you make yourself visible in front of me.

I'm not hungry so please get yourself disappear from my sight.

Though you kinda cute, but sorry..no feeling at all.

I know you just wanted to put myself in pain isn't?

This time around, not a chance!

Cause i believe..definitely believe.

So help yourself out..

#Stand still with me :)

Depth

Things never changed, it was only me myself..one who tries after all this time to make things in different ways. But i guess, no matter how hard i tried..it will always be there until one time i can't say anything. I can't blame it either..cause that's what it supposed to be..i can't never be able to set it up cause i know exactly where i stand. the only thing that i always keep reminding myself is that be ready for anything. well, i guess someday i need to start clarify everything again with myself..truly, i need vacation and setting everything back in place. but for now, let's just have a peaceful way of life. really can't wait to go home. 

#No intention.

set-ur-day

Wake up and smile :)


Good morning SATURDAY!


It has been such a hectic week, and i couldn't barely manage myself..what i'm saying is that i had drastic weight loss within two days..huhu..well yesterday, i finally filled my stomach with "nasi"..and now i have to face the life cycle again.

#btw, i overslept.

-

Mentally exhausted.

Now I WANT TO SLEEP

［(－－)］ZZzzz...

Ayat 1000 dinar :)

Hitam kuning kaki 3!!

 

Padan muka encik auto, tu lah kerja nak menipu and mempermainkan orang..kan dah kena balik..

Tak rugi pun tak naik auto awak tu, banyak lagi auto lain. 3 kali kot kitorang tanya, berapa..kejap 30 kejap 40. Bila datang auto lain bising pulak, padan muka awak..jual mahal sangat..memang BYE-BYE lah..haha.. Tak baik tamak, kan dah rugi.

#Blame yourself, Mister! :)

-

Exam..exam..pls..cpat habis.

#No idea.

4 u f

For you,

Thanks for the subuh call..don't forget to have your lunch and dinner.

I miss you :)

-Luv tqh-

Dizzy buzy

I think i had minimal REM suppression but not much like barbiturate. I am on its side effects: irritability, dizziness & nightmare..yes nightmare! This kind of suppression perfectly to be said as exam-induced sleep. It is displacement not replacement. I know what people think when they read this, some may said "she was reading too much last night". Believe me, am not..i was in this state right now. FYI I slept last night. when i woke up this morning, first word to come inside my head "REM", then sat for a moment thinking..am i crazy or what? Shouldn't for me to think all these which am supposed to have my bath and breakfast first?! (puasa, patutlah). Give me a break please. Suddenly everything comes so desperately in mind making me feel sick! Urghh.

#Headache.

Emosi tak stabil

I am stress! REALLY2!! I mean it!  imagine when you were reading one chapter for instance; blood culture for salmonella, then, the book said you can also employed using Castaneda method? Apakah? Ok fine, then i opened index search for that method..tengok2 owh, method tu dalam chapter Brucella..baca and terus baca..sampai habis chapter brucella. Then go back to salmonella, baca widal test..after that i realized word agglutinins...terus open chapter immuno pulak..tube agglutination..owh, brucella and salmonella boleh guna method ni. ok..pastu..tiba2 nampak antiglobulin (coombs tests) owh..boleh guna untuk brucella jugak rupanya selain rhesus cause they had blocking antibody..so kena letak saline/albumin apa tah..Honestly..i feel like KALUT!! Dalam hati..rasa macam nak menjerit kuat-kuat.. 

#I hate this feeling..but better now than too late =(

Million sweetness of you

Kamu!! Sweeettt sangattt..aaaa seriously terharu sangat-sangat!!
Terima kasih! suka sangat-sangat. Kamu memang baik..kamu dah buat saya tersenyum-senyum sekarang.
Tak boleh berhenti senyum ni macam mana ni..haha..
Terpaksa study sambil tersenyum, kamu memang betul-betul amik hati saya.

#Luv u so much =) 

-

I didn't know how to express it..almost crazy right now..banyak GILA life cycles! Rasa nak muntah.

Tak macam pendek life cycle masing-masing. Trophozoites, precyst, cysts, oocysts, sporozoites, merozoites, schizonts, amastigotes, promastigotes, trypomastigote, amoeboid, flagellate,...yekkss! -__-"

Strike?

Baru ingat nak merajinkan diri pergi library....
Tiba-tiba my housemate said "Jangan keluar pergi mana-mana hari ni..ada strike".
Fine, i have to sit and study in my room.

#Thanks for the text last night, it was wonderful =)

Friday night

Sedar-sedar tengok jam dah pukul 11.30 malam waktu india. Tadi rasa set jam pukul 9 malam, tapi sekarang macam better sikit. Tadi pening kepala sampai tengok tulisan dalam buku samar-samar. Tak boleh masuk satu apa pun, mengantuk sangat. Jadi terpaksa tidur. Nasib baik tak terlajak sampai esok pagi..kalau tak, dah buang masa. Tak berfungsi betul alarm ni, suara Minnie lagi kuat dari bunyi alarm..though it's kind of annoying but thanks! Lapar agaknya Minnie ni..tak pun nak ajak main. 

#Sorry Minnie, i'm really tired.

LOL

Recently my sis pm me, she said: " Ika, Hershey symphony tu dia da habiskan".
Haish~! Then i said, " Patutlah tak sampai2, ada orang dah telan dulu rupanya.."
(hahaha..he always like that)
Sis said "chocs on the way.."
And, brother said "Ada backup choc lain.." (nak cover lah tu)
Sis posts me this, from USPS Track & Confirm..

Detailed Results:

	International Dispatch, January 11, 2011, 8:01 am, FOREIGN CENTERJERSEY CITY NJ 099
	Arrival
	Processed through Sort Facility, January 11, 2011, 6:54 am, KEARNY, NJ 07032
	Acceptance, January 10, 2011, 2:35 pm, HOBOKEN, NJ 07030
	Electronic Shipping Info Received, January 07, 2011

M&M

Wake up and logged on fb..dengan tiba-tiba terus rasa nak marah dengan orang local sini lagi!!!
Macam *****!! My sister cakap dah post chocolates?? Arghhhh,..kenapa tak tau langsung..jangan cakap hilanggg..owh pleasssee! harap-harap itu tak berlaku.. hari ni nak pergi tanya Encik Chandra..kalau tak ada........ T_____T!!

Enough.

I think i'm done. i'm tired of this.

Gud bye.

WT*!!!

I AM BORING RIGHT NOW! !@#$%^^&!!

Conversation between me and him:

Hey Mr.Carpenter could you please hurry!!!! I'm waiting!! 

I phoned you yesterday then you said "Today is holiday madam..". 

For that reason, i said "Okay, fine..then please come on Monday".

Today i phoned again, you said "Madam, please 30 minutes".

I said again, "Ok! I'm waiting for you at 5.30 p.m."

And now, YOU SAID " MADAM, another 20 minutes" 

Are YOU PLAYING AROUND with ME MISTER?????!!!

HEY!! If you not coming today, i want my money back!! That's it, enough!!

#Melampau betul diorang ni. Bagi muka menjadi-jadi! Memang nak kena marah lah.

Alexa

 

Lama tak dengar lagu ni. Music dia best!

Kal ho naa ho

 

Tiba-tiba rasa nak tukar mood jadi Bollywood. 

Selalu dengar kat McDonald je. Hari ni dengan semangat cari lagu ni kat youtube.

Enjoy! Best lagu ni ;)

Coldness

Bila musim sejuk perut lapar 24 jam, kalau boleh semua benda nak masuk perut. Disebabkan puasa hari ni, jadi kurang sikit rasa nak makan. Sila tahan sikit ye cik perut, saya tahu kamu lapar. Sikit lagi boleh makan. Tak kisah pasal makan tu, tapi ada satu perkara yang memang kena kisah. Bila tergaru-garu sana sini sebab kering..dah macam apa je. Tapi bukan ok!  Masa ni lah kena pakai "lotion". Bila dah sapu lotion satu tempat, yang lain pun mintak sapu jugak! Adoi..tak buat tak boleh..seriously gatal! 

#I'm tired.

Mr.stress

 

 Hey! loOk at me! Am I deLiciOus?

I bought all these dark chocolates in the evening..

They were too lovely to eat!

Think that I was attracted to the shiny fancy wrappers.

Hugeness could double me up, i know....

But who's gonna care?

#This is how i overcome my Mr.stress

Ascending

Staring at one edge and reminiscing those days..

Versus these days..

The disappearance which could never be reclaimed again...

Unnoticable and flew away like a wind..

A solution of regaining?

Never be an option in my life.

And sometimes,

I need to close my eyes....

Searching for answers..

  Heart never tell lies.

11.1.11

Cantik tarikh hari ni 11.1.11.
Mungkin patut buat sesuatu yang special hari ni?
Hurm..lagi 2 hari test patho and lagi 2 minggu final exam..tu pun cantik jugak kan. T__T

*wake up and i got headache, i blame the coffee!

Insya'Allah

Makan

Sejak nak dekat dengan final exam ni selalu lapar. Dah makan pun lapar lagi, ke sebab sejuk? Tak taula. Tak makan tak boleh fikir, susah betul. Ni macam terpaksa letak semua makanan atas meja sambil study?? Macam apa kan. One thing for sure that i am STRESS!! Stress tengok buku yang banyak. Oh please perut, don't make me eat too much, nanti mengantuk! Mungkin perlu minum coffee mulai sekarang? Lepas tu pergi kelas macam orang mereng tak cukup tido? Mungkin akan terjadi. @_@"

*Let's do it!

Ayah

Thank you ayah! for calling me today..really happy to hear your voice. I wish you were here right now..i love you so much! Get well soon. Tak nak sakit-sakit ok! =)

p/s: I know you read this, rindu ayah ;)

Minggu senyap

Minggu senyap! Macam zaman sekolah pulak kan. Actually bukan minggu tapi BULAN..terpaksa mengadap buku 24 jam. serious rasa tak ada life. Nak pergi mana, nak buat apa pun teringat exam. Nak kata tak suka tak boleh, nama pun tengah belajar. Exam oh exam~

(Ditulis selepas kepala dah sakit dan mata dah kuyu)